William Faulkner in 1954 (Photo: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain)This post may contain affiliate links. Gee, I hope not! Is this writer's block?! To think, YOU are trying to tell ME that YOU aren't here. May your day be shiney! that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. But it's not. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. It tells me stuff like: "Warning: More Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy". Is fat-free food more delicious than food loaded with fat? I hope not. does not, has never, and will absolutly NOT admit to having any weaknessbesides the aformention indivduals own skin, which isn't even a weakness anyway since no representative of the Dark, Fluffier Side can BE the Patron Saint of Paperclips (Guess, whononoTHAT'S IT!) OH, DON'T YOU SEE THE TOENAILS?!! But people buy name brands. HI! After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. Just like all those reports people have to do. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. Which means that there are an infinite number of worlds with humanoid life. I repeat, there is nothing to worry about. Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between . Now I want all you loyal fans*cricket chirps* to go to the link to see what I'm like. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. Is this getting confusing to you? It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed! I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunesI gotta go! She also is the goddess of red jello. I'm back. The magic eight-ball is a plastic casing with an unknown, possibly toxic liquid inside. Celebrating creativity and promoting a positive culture by spotlighting the best sides of humanityfrom the lighthearted and fun to the thought-provoking and enlightening. Parents would increase the purchase of entertainment items. I'm so happy! The paradox of my system of beliefs leads me to believe that the universe, in fact, is not infinite. I don't think. Longest Sentence By Rebecca Jones, Arts Correspondent. Then I completly understand. OkayI can do it. YES, I'M YELLING! The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. As inshe read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. I'm not sure how I CAN be brief since I have absolutly nothing to say. Hours of completly useless fun! By the time you're eighty, you'll have enough ear jewelry to open up your own jewelry shop. At least it fills up my word quota for the day. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. How did you ever guess? CHECK OUT MY ARMPITS!!! Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination. 11. Boy, are you mythical, mystical readers in for a treat, today! Confusing, huh? But none have struck terror in her little moose heart like this particular feather. ME: Yep. I thought it was sadand normal. Soit doesn't bother to find all solutions, and it may be wrong. Here we go! Megan has hair. Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. Unsubscribe at any time. longest possible text for discord. Won't that be fun? The events of Neo's dream unfold. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. William Faulkner was featured in 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for this 1,288-word sentence from Absalom, Absalom! To pour your heart and soul into a passage, and have everyone ignore it. "lower the quality"? Longest math problem copy and paste We'll provide some tips to help you choose the best Longest math problem copy and paste for your needs. I hate Math. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. And they pushed my toes together. Seeya! He can deactivate the machines, (squidies) but at great personal cost. May your day be shiney! Our definition is "a lung disease caused by inhalation of very fine silicate or quartz dust." The entry for this word can be found in our Medical Dictionary. Using my philosopy, that EVERYTHING exists because the universe is infinitewellthink about it. You have to admit its sheer coolness. It doesn't matter. Wait till you see her in angry mob form!" First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, this notorious sentence plays on reduced relative clauses, different part-of-speech readings of the same word, and center embedding. How could I forget the stupid Tootsie Roll Pop Commercials? The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points. HOW, I ask you!? Haha, oops. I recently learned in my EVIL Physics class that on average, humans lose one inch of height during the day due to gravity pushing on their spine. Sofor the first time in about 5 yearsI wore a dressand something that was complelty white. What has the world come to? You know, the small, white feather. But it's all good. Seeya. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. I learned this from my calculator. Outside your body. Oh, well. I've been obsessed with various webcomics, creating the stupidly long new Phobia Quiz and being maniacly hysterical about my site always being down due to bandwith issues. consisting of 1,288 words and who knows how many different kinds of clauses. Aren't you happy? She HATES and FEARS it. Or maybe not. 516 words 'In the event that the Purchaser defaults in the payment of any instalment of purchase price, taxes, insurance, interest, or the annual charge described elsewhere herein, or shall default in the performance of any other obligations set forth in this . Then, when I win 500 additional np, I move to the 500np point. Okay. And don't even get me started on earrings. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. If so, I guess I won't be writing here for quite awhileseeya. Okay. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) Oh, well. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. Until thenI have absolutly no imaginary money. Oh, by the way, I was paid a decent compliment today. For that matter, how do you know that ANYTHING but you exists! That way I can just outlaw the need for gravity and air pressure! After all, isn't that basicly what the best teachers do? Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. Sorry if I complained a lot. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. NowI'm gonna go and worry about the light on my toaster ovenseeya! And most people don't even come here. I felt more fufilled when this site was a barren wastland of useless space. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. ", and translated it to German. Either way, I'm here. If my site manages to last a decade, my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what I'm talking about. Maybe they're here right now! Mar 25th, 2014. Ugh. This is going to be a WORLD RECORD! The 2.4 million words sentence is published in four volumes of Nigel Tomm's novel 'The Blah Story' (i.e., volumes 16, 17, 18 and 19). I have checked the email from {name of the person} and will contact you. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheeseand chickensand flame. What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? If my sisteruhMrs. X were ever asked a question on the Civil War on a quiz show, she'd come up with nothing. 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. If you can still think during all that incessent beeping, you'll probably find evidence that I'm really paranoid. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. How can I survive without the sticky goodness? | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. It actually lists what random minerals they through in to make it TASTE like salt. That teaches our youth that it's okay to agree to help someone, and then ruin their experiment. I'm leavingnow I'm back! Would it be cheating to fill it out again? Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. Because this is the first time I've been on a computer all day. Maybe I should make the link come here directlyHey! No one has even bothered to e-mail them to me*sniffle*. We find the free courses and audio books you need, the language lessons & educational videos you want, and plenty of enlightenment in between. I think. There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" HmmI seem to be jumping from one subject to another more frequently. A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). I repeat, lock all you doors and windows, this is it. The distance between the two extremes of how much I could have won is 1000np, making me feel like I've won much more than if I'd played a normal game. I'm back. I'm pretty sure you're not mebut you could be that other guy. That must be it. The food was superb, (our food came the exact opposite of how we ordered it, and half of the onion rings were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game(my sister and the ex-con played my mom) We spent hours there (from 5p.m.-7:15p.m.) Well, my squirell now has an arch-enemy. Anyway, like the "diet supplement" people, the earring manufacturers KNOW that once they pierce you, you'll be hooked for life. With the exact same words, motions and emotions. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. Pythagoras Theorem is a + b = c. I gotta go. Seeya. If they're anything like my sister, I'm movin' to Canada. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it notetc, etc. So it doesn't matter. Or suffer my blindingly moronic nail messages. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. If you you don't have time to waste, what are you doing here?!!! Work. The inanimate world, on the otherhand, expects nothing of you. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. I'd probably lose money, but the concept is interesting. That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! Otherwise you'd think I was delusional, or something. Her enemy is a fake Yorkshire Terrior (same species as her) made entirely out of goat hair. Anywaythat was my family vacation rant. I bet it's spelled monkeys. 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I don't want to be in this messI'm going to bed. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimerEh-hem. You cannot deny it. Yeah. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! When you look at them they are identical to the evil little Cheez-Its. How do you PROVE something is not infinite? Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel. If you're asleep, the fire will wake you. Yep that's right. "Lots of death, lots and lots of death in this section. *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. Yes. *gigles* It milght have been a sugar rush 'cause now we're having a sugar crash. The best way to be brief is to quit now. Well. E-mail us for questions, comments, complaints and information. The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. Okay, fire is loud. Nowadays, postmodern fiction writers such as John Barth are still influenced by Faulkners run-on technique. Never . We had to tell him that he would probley have to wait untill he was 21. You must be caught in a time warp. Now THAT'S just weird. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. I'm back. I've decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog, Moose. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. We eventually reached our destination after 16 hours of virtually non-stop driving. BYE!!! Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? GeeI wish I'd thought of that sooner. Oooo! It seems like blaggerent plagerism. I love it! And still frustrated. Or You are What you Eat. Although, as I said, there's no way to prove me wrong OR right. I hope I remember doing this. Fire is good. 4. I have readers. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. i broke the world record. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. This has been bothering me for a while. In you, I found love, a friend, a companion, a mother, a role model, a perfect human, in short, you're my total package. Anyway, moving on! Insane, chaotichmmmmmI wonder who thought of it? After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat. Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. And insanity. Were hoping to rely on our loyal readers rather than erratic ads. It's bad enough to go to school, leave school, go to work, leave work, do homework and then wait for my dad to get off of the computer so that I can do stuff. While studying at Johns Hopkins University, Barth found himself writing about his native Eastern Shore Maryland in a pastiche style of middle Faulkner and late Joyce. He may have won some praise from a visiting young William Styron, but the finished opus didnt flyfor one thing, because Faulkner intimately knewhis Snopses and Compsons and Sartorises, as I did not know my made-up denizens of the Maryland marsh. The advice to write only what you know may not be worth much as a universal commandment. Of course, there is also regretafter all, I could have made a fortune if I'd been the first to think of it. Now I'm back. I'm leavin', for now. There is a world where you are a slave to your TOASTER OVEN. But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING.